Oh my God, my love is leaving
dying slowly on the vine
in my chest my heart is heaving
there's no way to keep believing
'cause I know
I'm not gonna make it this time

But you told me we get better
yeah, you said we'd be just fine
said you'd leave and just forget her
wrote in blood a long love letter
said it's just gonna take some time

Sometimes lovin' don't come easy
but sometimes its damn near divine
steals your heart and steals the key
but you're just too blind to see
that it's just
It's not gonna make it this time

Gave it all that I had anyway
yeah, I walked that narrow line
'cause I can't see another way
and my poor heart knew it'd have to pay
but that still didn't make you mine

So honey, please just don't forget me
if you do that'd be a crime
although you think you've set me free
my old heart just won't let me be
'cause I know
I'm not gonna make it this time

After the shock, fear and loathing. Imperceptibly errant creation! Who can say what went wrong? A vital ingredient unwittingly omitted? What makes a cake a cake? There must be something to give rise to love.

It's never gonna be okay...

You come to me when I’m feeling like a cannon ball sinking
It comes to me and I know that all I’ve been thinking
I had no reason for believing
And all the moments I’ve been missing aren’t worth reliving
But why’d you have to be so goddamn unforgiving

Supermassive Black Hole

When I look at you, love

handsome as a magazine,

all I wanted this to mean

floats around or above

All of the things I know

I need but I won't get

The needs that I can't show

are needs that won't be met

It hurts when it's right there

but miles away from me

Feelings I wanted to share

drown in futility:

my love, my love, my impossible love!

But you wanted to know,

you said, the reason why

one would ever let go

or ever make me cry

So now I hope you see

the height and depth I lack,

my dark deficiency

and where you went off track

Not to say I told you,

and not to call your bluff

but though my heart is true

it's never been enough:

my love, my love, my impotent love!

You could be happy and I won't know

But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wish I had not said

Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head


Is it too late to remind you how we were?

(But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur)

Most of what I remember makes me sure

I should have stopped you from walking out the door


You could be happy, I hope you are

You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you

And for the tiniest moment it's all not true


But do the things that you always wanted to

Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you

Take a glorious bite out of the whole world ~SP

Anonymous Poem from a D.C. Metro Car

It’s not worth it –
all those bruises… careless misuses…the perpetual confusion…of my soul and body;
broken so…and deeply bowed…still not allowed…to truly ever let go;
every refuge I was denied…the tears I might have cried…all left to dry inside –
the abusive tide…. of cruelties I had to abide…to be the one responsible.


It’s not worth it –
the reeling headaches…the feeling deadweight…no line between two points straight;
when to stay alive…I failed, but tried…then to protect, I lied …for innocent and guilty alike;
taught to ignore …the brutal score…whatever went before …and how sore…I really was –
with a game on the line…the worry-wait-and-wonder which went with working to win every time.

It’s not worth it –
speed shot…knees rotted…nerves clotted;
all gone…to the wrongs inflicted…by my victims…mates… and self;
knuckles broken…muscles stolen…by excessive tokens…of half-considered choices –
the voices that whispered…too much grace under pressure…presages the soul’s slow suicide.


It’s not worth it –
long slumps…contusions, bumps…and the need to jump
at every whispered word of power…victory…glory…need…mercy…hope…or wealth;
now left to decipher…words of writers…who talk of my career…as if it began this year—
they disregard…every time I starred…’cause I was hard …when I had to be.

It’s not worth it –
the belief in youth… innocence, ignorance and truth…that died in the process of making me;
this justice-cide…was never fair…I took two for every one I gave…and still:
got more than I deserve… so if I must decide…I will…but… for them to hear, not me –
“It’s not worth it.”, gasped The Champion.

Try to catch the thoughts that flap and fly

try staying in and reading by

and watch the cloudy, tearing sky

but thoughts touch and stir and won't be tied

like brooding mystery of you and I


I think of some forgotten lullabye,

of us when we thought we could fly,

of things that we could never try

all just a phantom and a lie

I think of all we sunk: that buried treasure

try to hold my love for you, it knows no measure


This is a day for hearing bagpipes somewhere play...

This is a day for curling up and hiding away...